My big boy started school last month! I cried like a baby when I got to myself and realized that he was growing up. Junie soon faced challenges as he was making the adjustment to going to school everyday. Some days he was excited to go and on others there were tears. Whenever we would ask him why he cried he would say that he wanted to stay home. I would say, “But you can go and learn new things.” He would reply, “But I like to learn with you and do school in my room (referring to his learning wall that I use for our homeschool lessons).” I would say, “You get to go and play with new friends and toys.” His reply would follow, “I can just stay and play with you guys and play with my own toys.” Reality set in that Jr. was afraid to leave his comfort zone despite the possibilities for growth that were on the other side of his fears.
Seeing my reflection in him and looking within to understand why this moved me so much emotionally, I realized that I too have had the same fear. I had been afraid to leave my comfort zone prior to this. Last year was a pivotal year for me and my family. We moved to Dallas, welcomed our baby boy into the world, and celebrated another year of marriage to name a few of our milestones. I launched thebookofcorinthian.com, championed through the postpartum period, rebuilt myself from the ground up, and made strides towards my big goals. Soon new challenges arose and forced me to expand and grow. I do mean that literally too as I adjust my writing position to accommodate my growing belly. There were days when I would cry and find myself resisiting change.
At the beginning of this year I made a decision that I would step out of my comfort zone again and trust that the growth on the other side would supersede my fears. I wrote down that I would paint larger canvases as one of my goals to expand as an artist. I painted this painting shortly after that and I named it “Comfort Zone”.
I released my fears onto the canvas and visualized myself soaring and succeeding. Before I could finish the painting, Jr. woke up. He asked if he could help. I agreed. He contributed the powder blue splash over at the right bottom corner. I appreciated it and let it stay.
I’m currently in a season of discomfort. I’m evolving at a rapid rate and being forced to do things differently. Some moments are harder than others but I appreciate them all because I’m growing and getting stronger by the day. I recently started a new journey as an online English as a Second Language teacher and I taught my first handful of students in China this week. It’s been challenging yet exciting and fulfilling at the same time. I’m working on new projects that have me stumped some days. I’m preparing mentally, physically, and emotionally for life with my new baby girl here soon. I’m also trying to give my best to ensure that my husband and sons are supported through the transitions they are going through. I have no idea what awaits in this next season. I do know that all things are working for my highest good. They always are because God said so. Jr. confirmed this for me this morning when he told me, “Mommy you was right. I am growing at school. I’m learning new things and playing with new kids.” I smiled. Our journey continues. We are leaving our comfort zones.
The featured painting “Comfort Zone” can be viewed in my Art Gallery