Legend has been in the hospital since his surgery on Monday. I’ve been by his bedside since then with the exception of leaving my husband and oldest son with him to go to the store to get a few things one evening. Neither of us have been getting much sleep, especially since his diagnosis. The nurses and techs have constantly been in and out drawing blood to run more tests trying to slowly bring his electrolyte levels back down. It’s been frustrating to say the absolute least. It’s been harder on Legend because he’s the one that has been having to endure the sticks and pricks. Every time the nurses and techs would get done, I would try to rock him back to sleep and put him in the crib. About 20 minutes later he’d wake up voluntarily or involuntarily because another professional was coming in to do something else.
Last night I remembered our last hospital visit back in December. Legend didn’t sleep well at all being in a foreign place. He kept waking up through the night tossing and turning while adjusting to the NG tube that had been placed in his throat to assist him with feeding. I woke up every time he woke up and sometimes we didn’t get back to sleep. Then it hit me to ask the nurses if I could get in the crib with him since it was adequately supported at the base. They agreed to let me. We both slept all night without waking up even when the nurses came in for routine checks. The next morning Legend was cleared to go home days earlier than expected. He had showed improvement and there was no reason to keep him hospitalized any longer. As this night flashed in my memory bank last night, I asked the nurses to push over the recliner in front of the sofa. This way, Legend could sleep beside me on the sofa and have the recliner space in front in case he rolled from my arms. Surprisingly we both slept all night snuggled right next to each other besides the one time he had to have his diaper changed. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed for the first time this week. Legend woke up and his spirit was calm and he seemed to be relaxed for the first time as well. The doctor just came in while I was typing this and gave us the best report we’ve heard all week and we have a new plan of care for Legend today.
Many times we find ourselves in foreign places when God is trying to do a new thing in us. During this time we get weary and restless. We find ourselves tired physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Sometimes even after getting a full night of sleep, we still feel burnt out. It’s in those times that our soul needs rest, not just our physical bodies. It’s in those times that we must lean in close to our Source, our Parent to get the rest that we need to carry on. It fills my heart with joy and hope to know that I don’t have to run this race alone. Anytime I get weary, anxious, restless, confused, doubtful, panicky, exhausted, etc., I know that I can rest in the Creator’s arms and find strength, peace, healing, and clarity just as my baby boy did while snuggling next to me. For this I am thankful.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30